The start of a new school year can bring a mix of emotions for teens and their parents. There may be excitement about seeing friends again, but there can also be stress about grades, friendships, activities, teachers, schedules, and getting back into a routine.
For some teens, anxiety is obvious. For others, it may look like irritability, trouble sleeping, procrastination, withdrawing, or wanting to avoid school.
So, what can parents do?
Start With Listening
When your teen says, “I don’t want to go back to school,” it can be tempting to respond with, “You’ll be fine!” While reassuring them comes from a good place, sometimes teens need to feel heard before they’re ready to hear advice.
Try asking:
- “What’s been on your mind about going back?”
- “What’s the part you’re dreading the most?”
- “What would make the transition a little easier?”
You don’t have to immediately solve the problem. Sometimes saying, “I can see why that would feel stressful” is enough to open the door to a bigger conversation.
Help Them Challenge the “What Ifs”
Anxiety can make possibilities feel like guarantees. Your teen might think, “I’m going to hate all my classes,” “I’m not going to have anyone to sit with,” or “I’m going to fall behind immediately.”
Instead of telling them they’re wrong, help them slow down and look at the thought from another perspective.
Try asking:
- “What makes you think that will happen?”
- “Has that happened before?”
- “What else could happen?”
- “If things don’t go the way you hope, what could you do?”
The goal isn’t to convince your teen that everything will be perfect. It’s to remind them that a worry isn’t necessarily a fact—and even if something difficult happens, they can handle it.
Focus on What They Can Control
There is a lot about school that teens can’t control: their teachers, classmates, schedules, or other people’s opinions.
Help them focus on what they can control—how they prepare, whether they ask for help, how they respond to setbacks, and how they talk to themselves.
If everything feels overwhelming, ask:
“What’s one thing you can do today that would make tomorrow a little easier?”
Sometimes a small step is all they need.
Remember That Parents Get Anxious, Too
Parents may worry about grades, friendships, sports, college, social media, or their child’s mental health. It’s important to notice when our own anxiety starts driving the conversation.
Your teen doesn’t need you to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling. They need to know that they aren’t facing those feelings alone.
Try saying:
- “I know you’re nervous, and that’s okay. You don’t have to feel completely confident before you start. I believe you can handle this.”
The goal isn’t a completely stress-free school year. It’s helping your teen learn that they can experience stress and uncertainty and still move forward.
And remember, the first day—or even the first few weeks—don’t have to determine how the entire school year will go. Give your teen (and yourself) some time to adjust.
If anxiety becomes persistent or begins interfering with sleep, daily life, or school attendance, it may be time to reach out for additional support.
