4 Practical (and Fun) Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship This Holiday Season
Written by: Jason Howard, M.A.
The holidays bring all the joyful chaos: crowded schedules, too much food, and family members giving unsolicited advice. With all this added pressure, it’s easy to feel like you and your partner are more “survival teammates” than “seasoned soulmates.” But here’s the good news—these holiday challenges can be opportunities to grow closer, connect, and yes, even have some fun together. Here are four practical ways to help strengthen your relationship this holiday season.
1. Make Communication a (Quick and Daily) Habit
It’s the season of merry madness, and in the rush, it’s easy to let communication slip. A few minutes to connect each day can make a huge difference. Think of this as your “holiday huddle”—a quick check-in where you both take turns sharing a high and a low from the day. Keep it light, and maybe even trade a funny story from the day. One great question I have couples I work with ask is, “What is one thing I’ve said or done recently that let you know I love you (or care about you, support you, etc.)?” Instead of waiting for holiday stress to hit the boiling point, a quick check-in each day helps keep each other in the loop and on the same team. It’s like a secret weapon to dodge any “You never told me about that!” drama.
2. Have Each Other’s Back with Family Boundaries
Family gatherings during the holidays bring all the love, and often, all the opinions. Your partner might want to spend hours with family; you might need more breaks. Or maybe you have to make an appearance at three different houses on the same day. Discuss ahead of time what’s realistic and what isn’t. I also recommend couples define what is a core need for each person, and then figure out how to compromise on the small stuff while supporting each other’s core need. Doing so may mean supporting each other’s “hard limits.” If Aunt Susan wants to know why you’re not married yet (or if you’re going to have kids, or what you really think about the election), some good-natured tag-teaming and interference running that is planned out ahead of time can work wonders.
3. Keep Your Expectations Low but Your Spirits High
Even at the “most wonderful time of year,” things go wrong. It’s practically tradition. Events run late, flights get delayed, and maybe the turkey burns. Embrace a sense of humor, roll with the punches, and focus on what actually matters. Instead of stressing over and judging every detail, mindfully commit to seeing each moment for what it is. If something doesn’t go to plan, try to laugh about it. A year from now, will it really matter, or will you have a great story to tell? A sense of humor and a touch of gratitude can take the edge off holiday frustrations and keep your spirits high, even when the lights are a little too bright and the family a little too loud.
4. Make Some “Us Time” Non-negotiable
Finally, in all the hustle and bustle, it’s easy to let quality time slip. Make it a rule to steal away at least a little time, just the two of you—even if it’s just a 15-minute walk or a coffee date away from the action. It’s your chance to reconnect, decompress, and remind each other why you’re partners in the first place. These little check-ins can be as simple as a quiet breakfast together or even a quick getaway to a favorite spot nearby. Whatever it is, make it about unwinding and recharging as a couple.
The holidays can bring a lot of cheer—and a fair share of tension. These tips can help you and your significant other turn common challenges into connecting opportunities. Keep the humor going, support each other, and make time to enjoy the season together. Cheers to a season filled with love, laughter, and maybe a few more inside jokes that’ll keep you both smiling into the new year!
If you would like more tools to deal with family stress, or to improve the quality of your relationship, reach out to our amazing admin team at www.summitcounseling.org or 678-893-5300 to schedule a free consultation call with myself or any of our expertly trained clinicians.