The Hidden Face of ADHD: Why So Many Women Go Undiagnosed…
Haley Aguero, M.A.
When most people imagine ADHD, they picture a young boy who can’t sit still. But that stereotype leaves out people whose ADHD symptoms look entirely different. While boys are more likely to show hyperactive or disruptive behaviors, girls tend to internalize their symptoms. They may appear quiet, daydreamy, show increased emotions, or disorganization. Because these signs don’t match the typical ADHD image, many girls move through childhood without the support they need.
Instead of receiving a diagnosis, they often receive labels: “lazy,” “ditzy,” “scattered,” “forgetful.” And those labels don’t just sting—they shape identity.
While ADHD used to be considered primarily a childhood disorder, adult diagnoses are rising fast. Symptoms often become more noticeable during significant life shifts, such as starting college, managing new responsibilities, entering the workforce, or navigating relationships. Moments of transition can make the once-manageable feel overwhelming.
Growing up undiagnosed often leads women to blame themselves for their struggles. Over time, many begin to believe their challenges stem from personal flaws. A late diagnosis can shift someone’s entire understanding of who they are. But it can also spark a process of healing—reclaiming identity, reframing past experiences, and redefining what success looks like.
Understanding ADHD in women means rewriting the narrative. It means recognizing that
ADHD isn’t a character flaw, forgetfulness isn’t laziness, emotional intensity isn’t “being dramatic,” struggling to stay organized isn’t a moral failing
Support begins with awareness. Some of the most impactful steps include:
- Learning what ADHD looks like beyond hyperactivity
- Making space for neurodiversity in workplaces, schools, and relationships
- Encouraging women to seek evaluations when they feel something is “off”
- Promoting resources related to diagnosis, mental health professionals, and coping strategies
- Reducing stigma around medication and treatment options
When women understand their neurodiversity, they can build healthier coping strategies, recognize their strengths, set boundaries, and boost self-esteem. A diagnosis doesn’t define a woman—but it can explain her journey. And for many, that explanation brings comfort, clarity, and empowerment.