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How to Talk to Your Teen – Part 3

Written by: Stephen Walters, M.Div., M.A.
How to Talk to Your Teen – Part 3

So far this year, we have been looking at tips on how to talk to our teenagers and how to make 2025 “The Year of Communication.” In Part 1, we looked at avoiding lecturing, active listening, and validation instead of correction. In Part 2, we looked at being calm and patient, being open and honest, and remembering to breathe. Today, I want to wrap up with a few more tips. Remember, later on, there will be blogs on tips for teenagers.

  1. 1. Respect and Encourage Independence. This is given with the caveat that independence is different at 13 than it is at 18. You know your teen and what they can handle. So, since you know what they can handle, let them handle it. Maybe they are having a conflict with someone at school. When they were 8, you might have called a mom. However, they are a teen now. So, respect that, if they are able to, they can handle it. Encourage their need to grow and receive more and more. You are not failing if you don’t handle everything, you are actually succeeding as a parent.
  2. 2. Praise and Encourage. We can often focus on negatives and disappointments. Sometimes, we assume the correct decision will be made. Do not forget to praise good choices, big and small, and encourage them as they make them. Praise them when they are honest. You may not want to hear what they are honest about, but it is a whole lot better than a lie. So, praise honesty. Encourage them to come to you so that they will want to and trust that you can effectively talk through issues and concerns.
  3. 3. Create Boundaries and Expectations. As you encourage decisions, or correct decisions, help them know ways that you expect them to behave or that you expect them to come to you. Create effective boundaries regarding how they talk to you and how they talk to others. Be clear and then reinforce when they follow the boundary or meet the expectation. Clarity reduces anxiety in our own lives and it reduces anxiety in communication.

So there you go. Halfway through 2025 and here are Nine tips for communicating with your teen. Above all, remember to try. You won’t get it right every time. You may make a mistake. They may infuriate you. Continue to work on adjusting communication with your teen and they will continue to communicate with you. And, as always, if we at The Summit can help, let us know. Look soon for tips for your teens on how to communicate with you!