One of the most common misconceptions about childhood is the idea that “kids don’t remember their early years.” Because of this belief, many people underestimate how deeply these experiences shape a child’s development. But childhood development tells a different story—one that reveals the incredible complexity of early childhood and the lasting impact those first few years can have.
Children have two types of long-term memory: implicit and explicit memory.
This is why trauma experienced in infancy or toddlerhood can have a lasting impact. Although a child may not remember the event in a story-like way, the body remembers. Traumatic experiences such as neglect, loss, or abuse are encoded in implicit memory and can show up later through emotions, behaviors, and physical responses, often without the child consciously understanding why.
Children grow at their own pace, but all follow a predictable developmental path. From infancy through adolescence, each stage has its own set of milestones that build on each other. This growth spans across physical, cognitive, and emotional domains—and it cannot be rushed. However, trauma or disruptions in a child’s environment can delay development, causing a child’s emotional or behavioral responses to appear younger than their actual age.
For example, a 9-year-old who experienced early trauma might function emotionally more like a 5-year-old. This isn’t bad behavior—it’s a sign that the child’s development was paused or slowed by circumstances beyond their control.
Psychologist Jean Piaget identified four key stages of cognitive development. Each stage highlights how children’s thinking evolves as they grow:
1. Sensorimotor Stage (0–2 years): Infants learn about the world through their senses and motor actions.
2. Preoperational Stage (2–7 years): Children begin to use symbols and engage in pretend play. They start understanding identities and basic cause-and-effect.
3. Concrete Operational Stage (7–11 years): Logical thinking develops. Children can solve problems and consider multiple perspectives.
4. Formal Operational Stage (11+ years): Abstract thinking emerges. Children can think about hypotheticals, plan for the future, and understand complex ideas.
Abstract thought—the ability to think beyond the here and now—doesn’t fully develop until adolescence. But its seeds are planted much earlier through play, especially pretend play.
Sociodramatic play (like pretending to be a doctor or a superhero) allows children to explore ideas, roles, and emotions they don’t yet have words for. According to Duncan & Tarulli (2003), this kind of play helps children build the foundation for abstract thinking by imagining and acting out scenarios, problem-solving, and experimenting with different perspectives.
With abstract thinking, children begin to:
Childhood development isn’t just about milestones—it’s about building the foundations for lifelong learning, relationships, and well-being. The early years, even the ones we don’t remember explicitly, shape who we become.
By understanding how memory works, how trauma impacts development, and how children grow through stages, we can better support them at every step. Whether it’s through nurturing relationships, creating safe environments, or encouraging play, every moment matters in the early years—and those moments add up to a lifetime.