And Baby Makes Three: The Six-Step Plan for Preserving Marital Intimacy and Rekindling Romance After Baby Arrives
By John M. Gottman & Julie Schwartz Gottman
Reviewed by Kellie Gwaltney
Having a baby is a very exciting and joyous event. But what many expectant first-time parents do not realize is that this transition is also wrought with challenges that often put a strain on even the healthiest of relationships. Through their own research study, Drs. John and Julie Gottman found that two-thirds of couples experienced a significant drop in relationship satisfaction after the birth of their first baby. In their book, And Baby Makes Three, they state that for these couples “conflict within the relationship and hostility toward each other dramatically increased. They found themselves fighting much more. Their emotional intimacy deteriorated. They became bewildered and exhausted. [And] their passion, sex, and romance plummeted.”
And Baby Makes Three is an insightful and practical tool to help parents maintain a healthy relationship while navigating through the transition of having their first baby. Drs. Gottman describe a six-step plan including 1) realize that we are all in the same soup, 2) delight in responding to your baby, 3) cool down your conflicts, 4) savor each other by building a strong friendship and a zesty sex life, 5) add warm fathering to the mix, and 6) create an enriching legacy. They use case examples, self-assessments, and exercises to help couples understand each step and evaluate their relationship. And Baby Makes Three will leave its readers feeling equipped and hopeful as they embark on the journey of maintaining a healthy relationship as first-time parents.
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