By: Foster Cline & Jim Fay
Reviewed by SarahAnn Hunt
Parenting with Love and Logic describes a parenting system that enables you, as a parent, to help your child make good choices. Through giving your child healthy power, and allowing them to experience natural consequences, you can effectively discipline your children and teach them valuable lessons.
Types of Parents:
Toward the beginning of the book, Parenting with Love and Logic first describes ineffective parenting styles. The first example is “helicopter parents,” who try to rescue their children whenever they encounter a problem. These parents swoop in when their child gets in trouble at school to talk to their teacher, or smooth things over for them when they argue with a peer. As Cline and Fay describe in the book, these children aren’t ready for the challenges of adulthood because “their significant learning opportunities were stolen from them in the name of love,” (p. 23).
On the opposite end of the spectrum there are “Drill Sergeant Parents.” These parents try to control everything their child does, and find themselves giving out a list of orders. These parents often make decisions for their children, which leads to children who aren’t able to decide things for themselves as adults, because they haven’t practiced making choices while growing up.
So what’s in-between the extremes? Cline and Fay (2006) propose that “The Consultant Parent” is our solution. Consultant parents help their children to learn to make choices for themselves, and experience the natural consequences of the situation if the choice is a negative one, so that they’re prepared for the reality of the world post-childhood. When your child is used to growing up with choices, they’re better able to adapt as they begin to grow in adolescence.
Overall, the book does a great job laying out a road map for how to become a “Consultant Parent,” and raise children who know how to make healthy choices. It’s a highly effective resource for parents, counselors, and anyone who works with children. This book is a great starting point for parents who are feeling overwhelmed with their children and with parenting.
The purchase of this recommended book using the link above will contribute to the funding of The Summit Society and benefits our ministry of care for those in need.