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Every day couples across the world hope and pray for babies. Women take their basal body temperature, track their ovulation, and take injections with the hope and desire to see those two beautiful lines from their home pregnancy test. Creating babies is the original medical miracle that has been happening since Adam and Eve.
Sadly, one in every 5 pregnancies end in a miscarriage. Miscarriages usually happen in the first trimester due to birth defects, high stress, fetus not being able to implant in the uterus, hormonal imbalances, etc. The reasons for a miscarriage can range significantly and sometimes will never fully be known. So what happens after the miscarriage?
Coping with a pregnancy loss is coping with the loss of a child. A parent might never have held their child in their arms, but it is a loss none the less. Most mothers feel the loss deeper because she was carrying the baby and had already imagined herself in the role of a mother.
Confusion and anger are common reactions. What happened? Why did I miscarry? What did I do wrong? Did this happen because God is angry with me? Should I try again; because I am not sure I can handle this pain?
Understanding and accepting emotions are the first steps in working through your pain. In the majority of cases, there is nothing you could have done to prevent the miscarriage. Yes, you are going to cry and mourn the loss for an extended amount of time; give yourself that time to feel the pain.
Sitting down with your doctor and deciding when and if you feel you will be healthy enough to try again is an important step to take when you are ready. A doctor might recommend some changes in your diet or prescribe some hormones that will help you carry your next pregnancy to term.
Schedule time with a counselor to make sure you walk through the steps of loss and also ensure that you are emotionally healthy when you start trying again. It will also help husbands to understand what their wives are going through and how they can be a supportive spouse. Miscarriage can make a marriage stronger or weaker. Having a counselor intervene can help keep the communication open between two people who might want to retreat into their own pain instead of leaning on each other and making the relationship stronger.
Miscarriage is a very real, deep loss. Take time to honor that pain and process it. Let those around you
know when their comments are causing more pain than support. Don’t be afraid to talk about your pain with your spouse, family and friends and know that what you’re feeling is a normal reaction to a devastating experience.