The Visual Aid: an Invaluable Tool to Help Children Manage Their Emotions

Written by: Samantha Scalabrino, M.A.

Recall the last time you witnessed a child having a temper tantrum. Did it help to tell them to just “calm down?” Probably not. In fact, it most likely made the tantrum worse. Now, what if you had tried using a visual aid instead of words?

The goal of using a visual aid is to help decrease anxiety and frustration, create predictability, encourage independence, and provide structure and routine. They also help to build confidence, develop skills, and learn time management. Children are often at the mercy of the schedules that their parents create for them. They must accompany their parents on errands, work around siblings’ needs, and cannot drive themselves wherever they want, whenever they want. Children may be told they have a playdate or a medical appointment coming up; but time is an abstract and sophisticated concept that does not start to develop until about age seven. To a toddler, Saturday seems as far away from Monday as it does from Wednesday; 6:00pm may not mean anything to a 5-year-old unless it is associated with dinnertime. This can leave children feeling helpless and with a lack of sense of control. But if you can give them a schedule of what the day will look like in pictures, a child will have a better understanding of what will happen and what is expected of them. In addition, if practiced often, visual strategies are helpful for preventing difficult behaviors to begin with, because you are giving the child the tools to manage their feelings before they become overwhelmed.

Adults utilize visual aids all the time. We make grocery lists, use calendars, and watch clocks to help remind us of important details. When driving, we use stop signs and traffic lights for safety. Referees will throw a yellow flag to communicate a penalty. We are a highly visual species, and visual aids are all around us. It is not a huge leap, then, to expect that visual aids can also help with emotional regulation and that they can benefit children, as well.

Visual aides are already highly recommended for people diagnosed with autism and non-verbal individuals. But all children, especially those who have difficulty expressing their emotions or who experience behavioral challenges, respond well to using these supports. Anger and sadness in children is often the result of feeling a lack of control, feeling that they are not being heard, and/or feeling that they do not understand what is expected of them. The subsequent frustration may be expressed as crying, shouting, refusals, throwing items, aggression, and/or shutting down.

Great examples of visual aids include:

• Picture Schedules: Pictures or words put onto a small poster board, the front of a folder, or other sturdy surface. Place Velcro on the back of the pictures/words and put a long strip of Velcro on the poster board. With these pictures, create a schedule of events for the child to follow. When an activity is complete, the child can remove the picture and place it into a folder or pouch. The child should also be able to access these pictures and be involved in planning their schedules. Taking actual photos of the child’s activities or items used on the schedule is ideal, but a system like PECS* (Picture Exchange Communication System) is also helpful. Visual schedules help children manage emotions that are based on communication difficulties and not knowing or understanding expectations. Because of this, they also help to avoid power struggles that may arise between the parent and child.
• Social Stories**: Using pictures or words to create a clear, simple narrative of what is going to occur. For example, if the child will be going on a school field trip, create a story with each page explaining a step in the process, such as what time they will be getting on the bus, how long the bus ride will last, what they will be experiencing on the trip, when lunch will be available, who to talk to if the child experiences any difficulties, etc. Another way to use Social Stories is to teach a task. For example, if the child is having trouble brushing their teeth, use pictures to explain each step. This idea can also combined with the previously mentioned picture schedule, by placing a picture of each step of brushing teeth on a strip of Velcro affixed to the bathroom mirror. Social Stories help children manage their feelings by giving them control and independence over their actions.
• Break Card: a way to help children express they are having overwhelming emotions without having to say anything. Words may be too difficult to use at this time, so the aid gives them the control to pause before their emotions spill over into a tantrum, shutdown, etc. until they can better acknowledge them. The caregiver must respect when this aide is used and give the child space for a little while. The child should also be recognized as having made a significant step in identifying that they need a break from what they are feeling, instead of resorting to their usual negative behavior. A great example of a break card is picture of a stop sign; the words “I need a break” can also be written on top of it. This aid helps children with emotional communication, identification of their feelings, a sense of being heard, and feeling a sense of control.
• Emotions Diagram and/or Emotional Thermometer. An emotions diagram is a list of many different feelings in picture form (i.e. sad=face with tears; happy=big smile on face). Simply ask the child to point to the face that matches how they are feeling in the moment, or at a previous time when they were upset. An emotional thermometer helps the child point to how strongly their feelings are/were. These visual aids help children to identify and communicate what they are feeling, which also gives them a sense of control and being heard. It helps the caregiver better understand what the child is going through, as well.
• Choice Board: using the same idea as the picture schedule, use pictures to give options to the child. Create pictures based on the activities desired of the child. Put two pieces of Velcro at the top of this board under the heading of “This or That.” The child will choose between those two items or activities. Having (seemingly) endless options—even fun ones—can be very overwhelming for a child to manage. By giving them a visual picture of two activities, the child is being offered freedom within structure, and a feeling of control.
• Breathing Exercise Diagrams: common examples of this technique are “Box” or “Square Breathing,” and “Lazy 8 Breathing.” Children will use their finger to slowly trace the shapes, while following the prompts on the page to breathe in, hold their breath, and breathe out. These techniques are a great way to teach deep breathing and relaxation skills. When a child is starting to get upset, these are easy and quick ways to help manage their emotions.
• Time Timers: a clock with a colored section to show the amount of time remaining. Some children respond best to time-boxed activities, especially if they are resistant to moving onto the next task. As many kids are still learning how to tell time, they may feel anxious if told to suddenly clean up or switch to a new activity. Using the visual of a color getting larger or smaller will help them understand expectations of “when,” thereby decreasing anxiety, anger, and subsequent behavioral difficulties.

Note: These supports can be adapted for individuals who are visually impaired. For example, a picture schedule can be written out in Braille, and tablet apps can be used to make an auditory checklist or offer choices.

The Internet offers a virtually endless number of possibilities for visual aids. More information about the visual techniques mentioned above can be found online by doing a quick search, including instructions on how to create them and tailor them to your child’s needs.

The following are some tips for using visual aids:

• Make them easy to use, simple and clear. Too many pictures or words can be overwhelming.
• Make them durable. Laminate the pictures, or use clear tape like mailing tape, to ensure their longevity.
• The aids should be easy to access/portable. Think about where they will be most used, such as at school, in the bathroom, in the car, etc. Create a portable folder if the aid needs to be able to move about with the child. Key rings, magnets, white boards, and tablets are great ways to make visual aids portable.
• Tailor the aid to the child’s needs. For example, can they generalize what a picture means or are they more concrete thinkers? Will they always get a banana if that is the only picture for “fruit.” Try to make the picture as accurate as possible if the child interprets things more literally.
• Introduce aids slowly so as not to overwhelm the child. Start with one new schedule, checklist, or Social Story at a time. Start with only necessary symbols or pictures and increase them as needed later.
• Be adaptable. See what works and change what does not.
• Digital cameras for photos and magazine pictures are fantastic tools to help make the aids.
• There are many apps available for tablets that incorporate the visual strategies mentioned.
• Dollar stores and dollar sections of big box stores are great for finding items to use with visual strategies. Websites like Lakeshore Learning and Amazon also have a lot of ready-made aids. Teachers Pay Teachers is another site that has a lot of valuable information already created so you don’t need to feel like you must invent everything from scratch.

Let’s return to the scenario of the child having a temper tantrum. When one is emotionally charged, it is often difficult to find the right words, or to even want to talk about the problem. But it takes minimal effort to hold up a card that says, “I need a break,” which cues everyone else to give space for a while. Of course, there are many reasons a child may engage in tantrum behavior, but if it is due to a communication breakdown, or lack of ability to verbalize their emotional needs, a visual aid can be invaluable. Hold up a picture of what “quiet” or “calm” looks like for that child. Or, as in the example, give them a break card that they can hold up. Not only does this intervention give the child more control over their situation, but it also indicates that they understand they are having a tough moment, which is a big step in learning to manage feelings. And, provided they are safe, you will give them space to calm down until they’re ready to re-engage.

These ideas take practice and repetition. Children may initially resist using visual aids. Schedules may need to be changed; pictures may need to be added; you may need to give up on a chores list and substitute a “this or that” choices chart. But with consistency and patience, visual aids can be effective tools to help children successfully navigate their overwhelming emotions.

*PECS is a registered trademark system, developed by Andy Bondy and Lori Frost in 1985
**Social Stories is a trademarked term, created by Carol Gray in 1991