How are you feeling today? This is a question we hear often. But what is the answer? Some feelings are easy to understand while others are confusing and not as easy to understand and express. We can also feel more than one feeling at a time. An example is ANGER. Imagine a volcano with the feeling of anger at the top of the crater. Inside the volcano are many feelings swirling around at the same time. Some of the feelings include sadness, feeling overwhelmed, hurt, embarrassed, frustrated, tired, scared and shame. When the volcano erupts, the expression we see is anger. What we are really seeing are the many feelings that make up anger.
We are unique in how we understand and express feelings. An important thing to remember is that our feelings are separate from who we are, they do not define who we are. There are ways to identify what triggers our feelings. Once we know what triggers us, we can learn how to respond in a more calm and constructive way.
Tips for When I Feel Angry
1. Identify your Triggers.
What were you experiencing when the triggers to anger occurred? Was it a conversation you were having, a situation at school or a song you heard?
2. Notice where you feel anger in your body.
Does your heart beat faster, face become red or fists tighten?
3. Find a chill-out spot.
Identify a place where you can go to get your mind off things. A place where you can take a “time out.”
4. Think before you act.
Use “if-then” statements. “If I do this, then this could happen.” If the “then” is going to hurt someone or get you in trouble, make a different choice.
5. Turn your ANGER energy into something constructive.
Use your energy to run, walk or clean your room.
These are a few strategies to help identify and express feelings. Giving kids a space to learn healthy ways to express themselves empowers them to deal with their emotions. This improves communication and relationships for everyone.