How Parents Can Connect with Their Teens
Shaquanta “Shelley” Danjoint, M.S.
The teenage years can be an adjustment for both children and parents. Teenagers are finding their identity and are becoming more aware of themselves. Parents go through a phase of learning about their child, even after knowing them for years. There are phases and stages that parents will witness their child going through that may not be present later.
Listed below are some suggestions to help parents continue to connect and build a healthy relationship with their child while still providing parenting and guidance.
- Set up quality time. It can be helpful for teens to have time just with mom and time just with dad. These times may look different. Dads may want to take their daughters out for dinner, but may bond with their sons over sports or other events. Moms may go shopping with their daughters or bake with them to learn about their interests and hobbies. The idea is to learn more to see what activity may best suit you to do together.
- Practice helpful communication. Avoid name-calling. Helpful communication can include sharing what your teens are doing well and encouraging them to do their best, rather than only telling them what they are not doing well. This can also include not going back and forth with teens, but allowing them to vent, revisiting the conversation later to talk and show love and affection when everyone is calmer. It is important to set boundaries and maintain your household rules here. Avoid going back and forth on topics that lead to escalating arguments.
- Express unconditional love and affection that is not dependent on teens doing things right. An example could be that after establishing a punishment, return and tell your teens how much you love and appreciate them. Typically, at this age, teens need to feel accepted, no matter their behavior or emotions, while still providing correction. Teens are likely to see things logically and reasoning after venting. Once they are calmer, teens tend to be more understanding.