Let’s Talk about Social Media & Screen Time

Written by: Alyssa Kiss, M.A.

Parents raising a teen in today’s world of technology can often experience confusion, stress, and judgement from others for their decisions surrounding social media use and screen time. There are mixed messages, a lack of sufficient research, and little support out there to help parents navigate these tough decisions. As a therapist who primarily works with adolescents, teens, and young adults, I am surrounded by the issue of social media and phone addiction. Often, I work with parents who say the same thing – “I don’t want them to be on their phones so much, but I also don’t want them to be isolated from their friends.”

There is no doubt that screen time and social media are impacting us all, especially kids and adolescents. This age group is inundated with screen time which is causing issues with attention and the brain’s reward system. The research we currently have clearly shows that excessive screen time can impact social-emotional development, language development, and executive functioning. These can deeply impact adolescents who are already struggling with increased academic pressure and developing peer relationships.

So, what can we do about it? I have often found myself after a day of sessions with adolescents just wishing that I could wake up and social media would have vanished. I see the impact it has on these students while also knowing it is unrealistic to believe that it can be completely cut out of anyone’s life. Here are a few tips about navigating this difficult topic.

1. Have an open discussion.
   Help educate your child on the impact of social media and screen time. Oftentimes kids don’t understand or fully realize why their parents are limiting their screen time. Take some time to openly talk to your child about the ways that social media and screen time impact them without using judgements.
2. Educate yourself on the issue.
   This is a very complex issue with lots of different things to consider. Take some time to read up on the research and tips from leaders in the field. Here are a few recommendations:
   1. Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World by Dr. Devorah Heitner
   2. The Distracted Mind: Ancient Brains in a High-Tech World by Adam Gazzaley and Larry D. Rosen
3. Model the relationship with your phone that you want your child to have.
   Kids are constantly watching their parents to learn about the world around them. This is no different when it comes to screen time and social media use. By modeling the relationship with technology that you would like your child to have, it can help your kids learn how to navigate their use of technology.
4. Implement screen time limits that your child is actively involved in.
   Use collaboration with your child to set screen time limits that they can understand and feel a part of. Giving a teen or adolescent a level of autonomy in their own screen time typically helps them adhere to the rules set. This varies given the child’s age and is best suited for middle and high school students.
5. Give yourself grace and be flexible.
   We are in unprecedented times as we all learn to navigate the way technology has so prevalently impacted our lives. Remember to be kind to yourself and maintain a flexible mindset. As we learn new things in this area, give yourself space to adjust your stance or approach.