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Talking Tips for Teens 2

Written by: Stephen Walters, M.Div., M.A.
Talking Tips for Teens 2

So far in 2025, I have been giving parents some tips on how to talk to their teens, and last time I started giving teens tips on how to talk to parents. My hope is that communication in the family can be improved in 2025 and beyond. This topic hits home since I have a teenager and want to make sure we have good communication. So, in case you missed part one of Talking Tips for Teens, I said Be Honest, Practice Active Listening, and Timing is Everything. Here are a few more tips.

  1. 1. Stay Calm and Respectful. This one can be tricky. I know that there will be times your request is denied. There will be times when it makes no sense why your parents say no. When this happens, we can get frustrated and lash out. I want you to try and keep two things in mind. One, sometimes your parents have a reason you won’t understand. Try to trust they don’t want to ruin your life. Two, being rude or blowing your lid will not help you in the present or future. Respectfully managing their decision shows maturity, trust, and a willingness to engage with them. This will help give them the ability to trust you with more freedom and independence in the future.
  2. 2. Use “I” Statements. Instead of telling your parents what “they” should do, make sure you express what your own need is. “I would like to do this with my friends” communicates a desire. “You should let me do an activity with my friends” communicate a command. People are less defensive and combative with “I” statements like “I feel” or “I need.” This also shows a level of maturity and gives your parents more reasons to trust your judgement. So, try those and keep the “you” out of the sentence.
  3. 3. Be Clear. Just like with “I” statements, clarity in what you are asking conveys a sense of maturity and thought. As a parent, I am more likely to compromise or listen when I know my teen has thought through what he wants and can communicate it clearly to me. So, take a moment to think before you approach your parents. Think of the words you want to use and practice saying it. Clarity can go a long way!

Again, I hope this helps. Parents, a reminder that if you are the one offering these to your teens, and they use them, honor their attempts! Don’t forget to come back soon for the last part of these tips on communication. And remember, if we at The Summit can help you or your family in anyway, that is what we are here for!