Talking Tips for Teens 3

Written by: Stephen Walters, M.Div., M.A.

So far in 2025, I have been giving parents some tips on how to talk to their teens, and last time I started giving teens tips on how to talk to parents. My hope is that communication in the family can be improved in 2025 and beyond. This topic hits home since I have a teenager and want to make sure we have good communication. So, in case you missed part one of Talking Tips for Teens, I said Be Honest, Practice Active Listening, and Timing is Everything. In part two, I said to be Calm and Respectful, Use I Statements, and to Be Clear. Here are a few more tips.

1. Ask Questions. Unless you have the power to read minds, understand that you do not know everything your parents think. Be willing to ask questions to engage in discussions and allow some compromise on your part and have a willingness to change your mind. Tip on questions: don’t ask why. Instead, ask your parents things like “What are you worried will happen?” or “What can I do to make you feel better about this request?” If you ask why, you may get “Because I said so” and nobody wins with that!

2. Be Open to Compromise. Sometimes, your parents saying no is a definite no. Sometimes, it can be a “no, but” with a modified solution. Sometimes the answer is a “not yet” for example, “You can’t go on this overnight trip with your friends, yet, and we will consider it next summer.” So, look for a compromise if that is an option. This can show a high level of maturity to your parents and can lead to more freedom.

3. Show Appreciation. If you are able to have a good discussion with your parents, show that you appreciate the process of talking with them, even if you are disappointed with the results. Sometimes, your parents will give you a favorable decision. Sometimes, you will be disappointed. However, if you can show that you appreciate the opportunity to make requestions, and to be listened to, they are more likely to take requests seriously and this will lead to more freedom and trust.

I hope this helps. Remember, you will not always get what you want. Sorry, no communication tip can change that. And, if you continue to be respectful and use these tips, you will show your parents you can be trusted. Stay at it. And parents, last reminder of the year that if you pass these on to your kids, and they try them, honor their efforts with more understanding and your own willingness to compromise. If we at The Summit can help at all with communication, problem-solving, or any other need for your family, let us know!