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Alice Hoag

Communication SKills
Are You Being Selfish or Is This Good Self-stewardship?
September 26, 2024

“You’re so selfish; all you think about is yourself and what you want! You never think about me and what I might want!” “You’re so inconsiderate. Do you have any idea how that affected me?” “You’re so caught up...

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Seniors
Brain Health as Aging Adults
February 26, 2024

The notion that brains continue to develop through age 25 has been popularized in social media and popular news outlets. While it seems that the Prefrontal Cortex does continue to mature until that time, the entire brain continues to...

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Mental Health
Living with Guilt vs Living with Gusto
February 26, 2024

A few years ago, I intercepted one of my sons as he was descending the staircase and heading outside. He explained, with a guilty expression on his face, that he was going to go outside to smoke a cigarette....

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Mental Health
This Didn’t Take God by Surprise
February 26, 2024

So often, our circumstances seem to sway the level of contentment and joy we experience in our life. Every day, I hear of some circumstance that has turned someone’s world upside down. Cancer (their own, their child’s, their life...

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Grief, Trauma, & Loss
Monkey Bars and the Normal Grief of Living Well
December 1, 2023

In playgrounds, there used to be a structure called the Monkey Bars. I believe they’re too dangerous to be included in most public spaces anymore, but they were the test of endurance and strength (and bravery) for an entire...

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Couples & Relationships
Excuses, Excuses: How to Move from Defensiveness to Understanding in Relationships
July 17, 2023

Fred: “What’s the big deal, anyway? Why do we have to keep rehashing this? Just let it go!” Joan: “No! I can’t just let it go. You hurt me and all you do is keep making excuses!” Fred: “But...

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Mental Health
Self-Esteem and Self-Actualization versus the Transcendent Self 
July 14, 2023

In my counseling practice, I am often asked about the importance of a healthy self-esteem, and how to get a “better” one: “My performance (in school, in sports, in social situations) suffers because I don’t have enough self-confidence. How...

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Grief, Trauma, & Loss
A Hole in Your Heart: Living with Grief and Loss 
July 14, 2023

I was talking with a client the other day, let’s call her Julie (not her real name), about the recent loss of a relationship which had affected her deeply. Our conversation went something like this: Me: The final stage of...

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Couples & Relationships
Healing from Divorce
January 17, 2023

The old Greek poet named Menander said, “Time is the healer of all necessary evils.” More modern authors have altered the proverb, “Time heals all wounds.” Just because something is a proverb does not make it true. Some researchers...

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Families
The Tyranny of “Shoulds”
October 25, 2022

Shoulds abound in our lives. We hear them everywhere: from both outside of ourselves (family, friends, culture) and inside our own heads. “I really should do…” Or “I should have done…” or “you shouldn’t.…” “Should” is a tyrant, a...

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