5 Meaningful Moments to Show Up For Our Spouses
Will Goodwin , M.A
In most weddings that we attend there is a portion of the ceremony when those getting married exchange their vows. And for many of these exchanges, each person declares their commitment to the other across a variety of fortunes...
20 Creative Date Night Ideas
Will Goodwin , M.A
While I was growing up, I discovered that the parents of a close friend of mine went on a weekly date-night. At the time I simply thought that this was a wonderful practice and felt confused by the fact...
4 Tips for Nurturing a Friendship With Your Spouse
Will Goodwin , M.A
How good of friends are you with your spouse? Good friends? Best friends? For some of you this question may even seem a bit unusual, because you think of your spouse simply as, well, your spouse. For others, your...
D.E.A.R.M.A.N.
Hello all, As I mentioned previously, my next few blogs will cover a little bit from each DBT module that Summit offers. I shared an exercise from the Mindfulness module last time and will be sharing a skill from...
Toxic Relationships Part 2: Understanding Gaslighting
Relationships that have grown toxic can sometimes be hard to spot, especially if you are experiencing gaslighting. In the previous blog, I’ve defined gaslighting as “manipulating someone with psychological means into questioning their own sanity.” Gaslighting forces you to...
Effective Communication Style: Learning to Respond versus React
One of the best effective communication skills that I have learned in relationship with others is how to practice responding versus reacting. When we begin to understand the difference between responding and reacting, our self-awareness and ability to self-regulate...
Building Boundaries
Learning and understanding how to build boundaries with your family, peers and coworkers is essential to forming healthy relationships. Having healthy boundaries with others can look different for each relationship you have in your life. Having more rigid boundaries with...
Toxic Relationships Part 1: How to Identify
It is no secret that interpersonal relationships require compassion, time, and effort. Whether it is a romantic relationship, friendship, or a family member, it is crucial that each person is utilizing effective communication skills and doing their best to...
Who’s Ready for Marriage?
Will Goodwin , M.A
Marriage. The earliest evidence of which dates back as far as 2350 BC in Mesopotamia. The tradition and practice seem almost as timeless as human relationships themselves. And yet in recent decades the notion of marriage being a good...
Myths of Marriage
Will Goodwin , M.A
The music swells as the couple finds each other on the street. The credits roll with the lovers in one another’s arms, vowing to never be apart again. The camera zooms out and the audience is left to imagine...
What is Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy?
Janet Fluker , M.Ed., M.S.
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) focuses on the connection between partners in a relationship. It was developed by Sue Johnson and based on attachment research done by John Bowlby 50 years ago. The premise of what is known as...
5 Ways to Revitalize Your Relationship Routine
Will Goodwin , M.A
With the beginning of a new year well underway and the somewhat cliché mantra of “New year, new you!” still ringing in the air, many of us are starting to look around and wonder what has really changed. The...
How Conflict Can Create Connection
Conflict is inevitable in relationships. This has been especially true over the past year as couples have tried to navigate a national pandemic, sheltering at home, working remotely while guiding children through virtual learning, job losses and financial strain,...
3 Tips to Listen to Your Spouse Better
You never listen to me! Have you ever heard that statement from your spouse in the middle of a heated argument? Are the two of you constantly arguing about the same things all the time? Want to know how...
Building Habits of Connection into Your Marriage
Will Goodwin , M.A
All throughout our lives we are coached on the subject of establishing good and healthy habits for ourselves like: making our bed, brushing our teeth, eating well. But even with all that coaching and effort, keeping up with a...
Qualities in a Healthy Relationship
Madeline Redetzky , M.S.
We all have different experiences with relationships throughout our lives. They can range from healthy to unhealthy to even abusive in some cases. Sometimes when our relationship history has more unhealthy and abusive moments rather than healthy, it can...
The Path to Reconciliation
Alice D. Hoag , Ed.D.
“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Please forgive me.” These words are often cited as facilitating the process of forgiveness. While helpful, they are woefully inadequate when attempting a reconciliation in the face of serious wounding and betrayal, such as...
Stonewalling
We have all been there when arguing with our partner, it typically occurs at the end of the whole fiasco… Blank facial expressions, silent stares, or walking out of the room are all examples of stonewalling. The term stonewalling...
Defensiveness
Many times when we get into arguments, one person in the relationship criticizes or is contemptuous, which often leads to the other partner feeling attacked. When someone is feeling attacked they get defensive or shuts down emotionally. Most of...
Corroding Relationships with Contemptment
Another act besides criticizing that negatively impacts relationships is contemptment. This behavior is also known as disrespect or coming from a place of superiority. This is the biggest indicator of divorce according to Gottman’s research. Couples who are contemptuous...